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In my mother's mind, it's better to be miserably divorced with a child than to be all alone. The government-sponsored All-China Women's Federation urged women to stop pursuing advanced degrees, warning them they could end up like "old, yellowed pearls. You hear a snide comment about a person, usually aimed toward age or income, and the next thing you know, these parents are fighting. Now Reading Chinese Women Reclaim The Word "Leftover". Inside China's Open-Air Marriage Market For "Leftover Women" Venus Wong.
Photographed by Eric Michael Johnson. Parents sit behind umbrellas bearing ads for their children in Shanghai's People's Park. The park has become an open-air marriage market for parents seeking mates for their adult children. On a sweltering Saturday in late August, a steady stream of senior citizens paraded through Shanghai's People's Park. Armed the best dating club for chinese singles in china the usa colorful umbrellas and stools, they set up camp along the labyrinth of walkways, rarely looking up from their newspapers or knitting yarn.
But these seniors weren't waiting to take a tai chi class or to make small talk over chess. They were sweating it out in the midsummer heat with a singular, all-important mission: Over the past decade, the northern corner of this park has become an unofficial, open-air "marriage market" — a popular meeting place for retired parents to find partners for their adult children, who are typically in their 20s and 30s.
And the People's Park marriage market isn't for the casual love-seeker; it's an atmosphere of transaction, one that these parents have down to a science. Parents bring along a single sheet of paper containing vital statistics on their child — age, occupation, education, and property ownership are all musts. Other parents peruse the offerings, and the different parties hash out the specifics of what they are looking for in a future son- or daughter-in-law.
If — and only if — the vibe is right, photos and contact information are swapped discreetly, so that the singles can arrange to meet in person on their own time. Parents carry around photos of their unmarried children in folders, along with their proof of employment, for potential suitors. Competition is fierce, and it isn't easy to impress these parents on the prowl for future in-laws.
Most candidates sound impeccable on paper. Phrases like, "My son graduated from University X — with a full-ride scholarship! Perhaps in the interest of saving time, some are very straightforward with their requirements. On postings for female partners, it's not uncommon to spot demands like "must be fair-skinned" red flags online dating profiles "must be able to give birth.
The booming marriage market has even sparked a cottage industry of agents, who offer to save parents a day in the hot sun by posting notices on the best dating club for chinese singles in china the usa behalf. Some of these brokers charge a premium for access to a phone directory-like notebook with the contact information of unmarried locals. Others are more vociferous. Gu, a marriage broker, gets ready to tape up a freshly minted ad for a single man or woman.
Gu is a veteran in the business. Dressed in an ostentatious red suit and cowboy hat, he told Refinery29 that he has spent the past six years managing marriage postings. Gu said that most of his business comes from parents who don't have time to sit around behind umbrellas every weekend. Sometimes, parents post ads for their children without their knowledge. One reason for conflict is the scarcity of potential husbands.
In Chinese popular culture, these urban, unmarried women over a certain age — usually 27, but it varies by location — are given an unflattering nickname: It's that discrepancy that accounts for the greater number the best dating club for chinese singles in china the usa postings by parents seeking husbands for their daughters.
A woman copies down contact information from the marriage market, presumably to help a family member find a match. But it's also a confusing discrepancy, given China's overall gender imbalance. Decades of a strictly enforced one-child policy and a culture that favors boys over girls has led to a population of far more men in China than woman. Though residents in rural areas were allowed to apply to have a second child if the firstborn was a girl, sex-selective abortions were rampant.
According to the latest census datathere are men for every women in the country. Bythe Chinese State Population and Family Planning Commission estimates that there will be 30 million men of marrying age that won't have a partner. These men have their own unflattering nickname — shengnanor "leftover men. The Resurgence of Gender Inequality in China.
More and more, they are aware of the need to protect their own rights. And according to Fincher, that means ruling out a large subset of men with low regard for women and chauvinistic ideals — summed up as " straight men cancer " in Chinese social media slang. One major "symptom" of "straight men cancer" is the notion that these women are single because they are holding out for a wealthy husband, according to Jem Yuan, a co-founder of S Cluba social group that organizes get togethers for single women.
Yiting Hu, a year-old fashion publicist, has been unwillingly set up by her mother four times since moving home to Shanghai from New York City, where she graduated from fashion school. With the help of a family connection, her mother even posted Hu's personal information on the internal discussion board of a prestigious e-commerce company.
Hu said she got more than 20 dating inquiries that evening, but nothing promising came of them. Courtesy of Yiting Hu. Yiting Hu, 26, has been set up by her mother several times since moving back to Shanghai from New York City, but said she often has little in common with these potential suitors. That was by far the most hurtful thing someone has said to me.
But, chemistry is typically lacking at these arranged meetings, leaving her feeling worse afterward. Nothing happens in a vacuum, including parents' worries about marrying off their "leftover" children.
Inside China's Open-Air Marriage Market For "Leftover Women"
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